I am facing a situation where my son is facing a frustrating situation and there literally nothing I can do. All I can do is be postive and trust that his needs will be meet and that this lesson on his path will serve his greater good. This part of being a mom is so hard.
Lately, I have been so focused on food. What to eat, when to eat, guilt eating with my husband, one day deciding to just eat to be happy, next looking at my body wanting to make changes…all the while neglecting what is most important. Fulfilling my soul.
I like so many of you start a good habit, journaling, meditating, working out, eating clean and then we get distracted. One day snowballs into many and we feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, questioning ourselves. All because we didn’t the 5, 10, 15 minutes to feed our soul and set our day up for success. Or at the end of the day I go over what I didn’t get done on my to-do list instead of giving myself credit for all I did accomplish.
Even things that bring me joy, I feel “bad” for not doing them. “You didn’t write on the blog. You didn’t read that library book You didn’t choreograph a new song for class.” How can I be creative if I make the things I love a “job”, just another thing on my to-do list?
A couple weeks back my husband and I were in a fight and not speaking. My son who I had not seen in 6 months let me know that he his trip home had been extended again. I looked at the text and the Christmas tree still up, started crying and knew, I needed to go.
I looked up flights and found a ticket in my budget at time that I could actually take time off work. and I booked it. Knowing that I might only get to see my son briefly in the evenings. That I would be in a town I have never been to and that I would not know anyone.
So here I am in Jacksonville, NC. It has been what most would consider a boring trip to this point but it has been just what I needed. I read a book on the plane that I bought myself before Christmas. Then I watched a movie that have been wanting to see for months. I landed, had dinner with my son and got to hear about his new roommate and a training he is gearing up to go out in the field for. Meaning he will be off the grid and I won’t even get the one word texts get now for weeks at a time. We checked into my room and he opened his Christmas. The look on his face made me so happy that I did not mail them but stuffed them into my carry-on.
As I knew may happen, his time off was not approved and he had to go back to base. The next day it rained all day. So, I slept in, binge watched bad TV shows and did my online volunteer work, without guilt. At home I feel bad about what I don’t get done because of volunteering or I feel bad that I did not help enough volunteering because I was busy at home. Again, something I started because it makes me happy to help others. I ate oatmeal at breakfast even though I didn’t work out and I had M&M’s in the afternoon. Then I got dressed, went to a box store just to wander, no shopping list to check off and then dinner with my son. Another evening of great conversation. He went back to base and I had another night of sleep hogging all the pillows.
Today I woke up, ready for a quick workout in my room, not because I had to, because I wanted to. Now I am in a bookstore cafe, with a new mystery novel recommended by one of the staff. I loved mysteries as a kid and don’t read them as an adult. I took it as a sign from the universe that it is time. Also 3 people walked by me saying how great of a book it is. I sat down with a latte and felt inspired to write. So, here I am, waiting for a text from my son, ready to spend the weekend together. Also grateful for the time to just be quiet. To not feel bad for not meditating or reading or doing the things I “should” have done and letting them become the things I want to do again.
We need to feed our bodies and our souls. Not with guilt and regret but with love and acceptance. I hope this weekend you find the space to feed your soul, no matter what that looks like for you.
This is the time of year where we began to look at the goals we set at the new year and feel like we have hit a plateau, are not were we thought we would be or maybe we haven’t even started.
We push for perfection and in doing that, we procrastinate even starting. We judge the harvest we are reaping as not “good enough” or because it is just “good enough” it is not enough.
So we keep putting off our dreams, set our goals aside for another day.
Today, let’s recognize that the seeds we take the time to plant matter. Good enough and done is better than waiting for perfection.
I have really struggled with my focus lately and have been setting my goals and dreams aside, as I am struggling to get balance in my life.
So, today I will start to plant the seeds again. Meditate on my dreams, show gratitude for all I am blessed with and do the work, even if it is not perfect. Good enough can become excellent. Nothing remains nothing.
Wishing you a beautiful day full of new seeds to plant and a harvest full of creative, positive energy to propel your dreams forward.
New year, new decade, time to reset and refocus.
A couple years ago instead of a goal, I picked a word to shape the year.
First was gratitude. I made it a daily practice. I wrote in a gratitude journal each day, meditated on the words grateful and thankful in yoga class and it really helped me reshape who I am.
Last year was elevate. Every class I taught, every opportunity to go the next level, I looked for ways to elevate. I still keep coming back to kindness and being thankful.
It did help me push. I posted workout videos, which I am very shy about I did it. I started looking for my voice on the blog and what I wanted to share with people.
This year is Give. I watched a video on Instagram about non-attachment and giving. It really spoke to me. This year my youngest is moving out and the concept of non-attachment really spoke to me. More than that, I started a couple days ago, meditating on it class when stretching, in the morning as my morning meditation
One of my struggles when I encounter someone with negative energy or is judgemental, is how to combat that energy and turn it into a positive.
The concept of Give is helping me with that. Giving space for people to express themselves or just be themselves.
It is helping me as well. Instead of getting overwhelmed by chores and to do lists. I am giving myself the gift of a clean house, or clean laundry or a slightly clean car. Time to write, time to give myself space to create.
Also, to give without fear. I do believe in the law of attraction, being positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative, in it’s most simple form. But, some areas in life still give me stress. Money is a big one. Believing in attracting money has been great and I am so grateful. So may opportunities have come my way and I have I been busy teaching and this year having money to share has been a huge blessing.
Now, it’s time for the next level, to give. Knowing that what I give will come back 3x. It is true of love, friendship, kindness….and money.
I am excited and ready for the year of Give. Please share your word of the year below.
I have been a little quiet on the blog this week. Still learning to juggle my fitness schedule, the new kid classes, my volunteer work, house, family, choreography and oh yeah, sleep. The problem is I am so blessed with so many things I want to do, it is hard to focus and narrow down what is important in that moment. So I have slowed down to speed up. A saying my husband and I tell our kids a lot.
I started blogging to be able to write and share and inspire others. I am so grateful for all the positive feed back. Looking over my posts, while I happy with my content, it is lacking in the writing dept. No worries, fun coffee memes, inspiration, move of the day, food will stay but more posts about me and my life will be added as well, starting with today’s Halloween recap. So let’s dig in.
It has been a super fun week of Halloween inspired fitness classes, beginning with my Special Needs Zumba class Monday. They came in costume, we did some fun Halloween favorites in class like I’m Your Boogie Man and Thriller. The Thriller train did not end there. It pulled into Zumba Tues, Zumba Gold Wed, Special Halloween Zumba class Wed night and made its last drop off at Cardio Drumming Thur morning. There have many costumes this week, Black and Orange, I wore my Awesome Grandma shirt. Been Wonder Woman. Wrapped up with TuTus and tiaras at Barre Fit. By Halloween I was costumed out and passed out candy in pajamas. Overall a super fun week full of laughs and lots of smiles.
A Halloween post would not be complete without a picture of my granddaughter on her second Halloween being her adorable self out tricking or treating for the 1st time. Seriously the cutest flamingo I have ever seen.
I hope you had an amazing week and made some memories with family and friends.
Please share how your week went.
Some Sundays are meant to do nothing…..and today is that day for me. Super busy week with my regular fitness schedule and then 6 new kids classes starting. Still made time for a fun girls night with wine and a concert under our towns water tower.
Fun housewarming party last night for one of our favorite kids and his fiance.
So today has been a football, brunch, mimosas, bubble bath, kind of day. I did get some work done here for the blog and some volunteer online work I do, but overall, just the kind of Sunday I needed.
I hope you all found the soothing Sunday you needed as well.
Today we took a walk and checked out the little town of Hurley. The main street has a bar, a bank, a post office and the library. The park has a really cool memorial that has been there since 1908. Looking at the homes we found several abandoned homes that you could tell were beautiful when they were lived in and loved. We looked in the windows and talked about how we would restore them. Looking out at all the open space and out at the corn fields I was struck by how peaceful and quiet it was. Walking back to my mothers in laws house I noticed how many homes had an American Flag proudly displayed. We then sat on the deck, Bbq’d dinner and I enjoyed a glass of Rose wine and watched the fireflies. It was a beautiful peaceful day and I am glad I left my phone behind to really enjoy the moments and connect with my husband. Excited for day 3, we head off to Mount Rushmore.