This is a saying I use a lot in my fitness classes. I usually get a groin or an eye roll, but as a group we push through and finish. The depth of these words never truly hit home with me until I wrote them to my son in the 1st letter he will receive at Boot Camp. “Tell yourself you can do anything for 10 seconds and if you need 10 more seconds, say it again”. We all have times we need to push through those 10 seconds to reach a goal. Small things: I can do push-ups 10 more seconds. I can walk away from that cookie. I can focus on this project. Then there will be moments that it will take all your inner strength to get through. Those 10 seconds will be the most challenging of your life. Knowing my son is facing that repeatedly over the next several weeks means I have been relying on this phrase heavily.
Sometimes, you need those 10 seconds to breath. Throughout the day we all face challenges that can cause us to react in a way we may regret later. Traffic, a screaming toddler, an unreasonable client, a salty teenager or a situation we have no idea how to handle. We need to take 10 seconds, to not cut someone off or make a gesture. To see the tiny, hungry, tired person in front of us. Or most important, to not say things we can’t back. Sometimes 10 seconds to breath is what will help look at the situation from the outside. The person in the other car doesn’t know me, they clearly are having a bad day. Does it really matter what strangers in this store think of my child’s behavior. Does this client understand what they want from this project? Is this battle worth picking? You are not going to be able to solve every problem in 10 seconds but it can help you connect with your inner self so in the next 10 seconds, you are expressing who you want be.
We can use 10 seconds to be kind. We often say we want to do more but we don’t have time. You can roll your eyes when you see a shopping left in the parking lot or push it as you walk up to the store. You can send a text to a friend having a rough time. You can hold a door open for someone. You can tell someone thank you. You can tell someone I love you. Now, with a fresh perspective, you can do anything for 10 seconds.
Today as I was writing in my gratitude journal and reflecting on my goals, I began to question, am I in tune with what I really want? Do I really have plan in place that is setting me on the path to success? Are my goals still in line with what I value the most right now? We all experience burn out and doubt. Sometimes those nagging feelings are our true self calling us to re-evaluate what we really want. Is the goal we are working toward really going to bring the success that helps us find fulfillment and happiness. Sometimes we need to slow down to speed up. Write a mission statement for your life, set goals that reflect that mission, put a plan with each step you need to achieve that goal. Wishes are nice, but a goal with a plan makes you unstoppable.
It is National Honesty Day. I thought a lot about what that means and how we deliver our honesty. Are we really helping one another, what is our goal when we are honest. Yesterday, I watched a video by an incredible man that gave a challenge ” find 3 people on Monday and convince them to believe in you, now find 3 people on Friday and convince them to believe in themselves.” Leadership is all about getting people to believe in themselves. A big piece of that is honesty, not patronizing or being aggressive, but true open, sincere, straightforward honesty. When we tell someone they have food in their teeth it is not to judge, it is not their fault, we are here to help. How do we convey that help to the other person? We need to be invested in their growth and care personally about their success. A lot of us don’t see the truth in ourselves and need a mirror to reflect back the best parts of ourselves. Then there are times we are not breaking through to the next level and are not sure why we are missing the mark. Honesty given with love and guidance is what truly helps. Watching someone find themselves and believe in themselves is a true sign of a leader. Our words have the power build others up or tear them down and leave them filled with doubt. How will you use honesty and will you choose to be a leader?
Todays motivation Monday quote come from our book club book, You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. In our online discussion this weekend, one of our readers shared that this quote spoke to her. I woke up this morning wanting to take on a 14 day challenge that I have attempted before and have not been successful. I immediately began to think about my past failure and what temptations might side track me. This quote made me recognize that I am derailing myself by not just staying in the moment, enjoying the present and actually creating anxiety that does not need to exist. Letting our past attempts define what we can accomplish in the present sets us up for another perceived failure from the beginning. We need to start with our head high. If we must look back, remember a time you felt like your best self, focus on your personal strengths and use that to work towards your goal. More important, changing the goal to self improvement through positive change and not just running to a finish line, helps us connect to our true purpose and express our true selves.
Spring is here and like many of you, I am looking at my home, my schedule, my inner self and taking inventory of what I am ready to let go of, and what I would like to add to my life. While I have been quiet online, there has been a lot going on as I refocus, redirect and look at how I really want to use this space and what I want to share. While I will continue to share workouts and recipes, I am feeling I want to share deeper and be more open. From the conversations I have had the last few weeks, a lot of us are struggling with parenting, marriage, friendships, feeling guilty and trying to find balance. Yet, we don’t want to talk. We are afraid of being judged and instead put on that perfect front. I think the ultimate act of kindness is to be open and honest with those struggling around us and be transparent so our loved ones can support us. I will be running some challenge groups in the FB group that will help us share and reach short-term goals. Coffee Talk posts will be more frequent and real life struggles parenting a teen and young adults, new adventures in my 21 year marriage and just life in general. Cardio And More will continue to be workouts and tips. Cup Of Love is a space for motivation, kindness and peaceful living. Thank you for being part of my journey, for your love and support. Please comment on any topics or tips you would like to see in the coming weeks. Hope your week is filled with Coffee, Peace and a little Cardio.
This time of the year, it is easy to fall off track. There are holiday parties, holiday baking, pumpkin spice everything. Don’t let one day make you throw in the towel and wait for the “new year” to take care of your health. Work harder, eat cleaner, and enjoy the small indulgences of the season.